Thoughts That Go Through Your Head During a Triathlon

Coffee, coffee, food, bathroom.

Wow, why is it so early?? Why in the world do these start at the crack of dawn? These people.

Ugh, did I gain weight? This wetsuit can’t possibly fit me.

Ah, ouch, yep it fits.

Should have peed again.

I’ll just pee in the water. It’ll probably warm up my wetsuit anyways.

Man these goggles are too tight. Too late.

So nervous! *Heavy breathing*

Ok, breathe, breathe, STOP flailing.


That wasn’t too bad. Crap, need to pee again.

Bike time!!

Thirsty, but still have to pee. But have to take nutrition. Decisions!

Wheeee downhill!


Anddd back up hill. Oh my god my legs. I’m dying.

Time to run, should I pee now? Nah, I can probably hold it.

Oohh, fast transition time, look at me go.

How many miles have I run already? Only .75?? Crap.

How many miles now? 2?! Great.

Oh my god this is taking forever.

How am I sweating this much?

Man, that 60 year old lady just passed me. Damn girl.

How am I still running? How am I so slow?? I need to stop drinking beer.

I’m never doing this again. Can’t believe I paid money to torture myself like this.

Oh look a pretty bird!!

Focus, focus, you’re racing.


Ooo, finish line! Thank. God. Never. Again.

Goes home, signs up for three more tris.




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